Final Fantasy X The Unheard Version
by Chocobutt-x
Summary: We are introduced to the unheard of version of Tidus' adventure through Spira, dialogue and events slightly warped. WARNING: language can get a little extreme.
1. Chapter 1

**Final Fantasy X – The Unheard Version**

Okay, so we have a black mage with massive boobs and some six foot Jamaican dude that hits enemies with his ball, now explain to me _how_ that is effective apart from making the enemy going "shit!" as it gets hit? Some large blue animal... thing that literally scares the crap out of me and a girl that would rather throw the other girl that twirls a large rod to bring big, fuck-off animals from the sky off road of her goal? Oh not to mention someone that's ALREADY dead.

What a team!

So yeah, my name's Tidus and I'm nearly as normal as those other characters. I'm not really alive, I'm actually an illusion created by the Fayth's that provide Yuna – the girl that twirls the rod – with the powers to summon. Hell, we're going to do a good job aren't we? Listen to my story. It's quite warped, it's not as normal as you think and it is certainly not your average world saving story!

_*Flashback to Zanarkand*_

Big game tonight, in memory of my father. Pah! In honour of a man that called his child a cry baby? Fuck off. Anyway, fan girls to attend to. It's the same stalkers as every single week.

"Good luck!" one of them squealed. Inside I was screaming but of course, as a public icon and Blitzball star it would not be kind to wring their necks, so I had to quickly think of something quirky to say so they would not follow me, _again_, to the changing rooms.

"When I score a goal, I'll do... this," and made possibly the stupidest arm gesture in the world. Why, Tidus, why? "And that'll mean it was for you." I sighed. Onto the kids now.

"Can you sign our balls?" one of them asked. Whoa kid, slow down! Oh, the Blitzballs... Taking the pens to sign them I had to restrain myself from writing something stupid.

"Two, three. TEACH US TO BLITZ!" they yelled altogether. Cheesy, I know.

"Not tonight, I got a game," I replied. They groaned. God what does it take to make kids happy?!

"After?" they then pleaded. I agreed resentfully.

"You can't tonight" a voice sounded from behind. My reaction? What the fuck?! There was some ghostly kid with a hooded jumper on telling me what to do. Heck they say I don't need to hang out with these kids I'm taking that chance! I ran through the crowd, past the huge building that boar the image of my father. Bastard. I hated him so much. By the time I reached the entrance of the arena I got swamped, and I mean _swamped._

"Dude, don't touch my crotch! Lady, PLEASE, I gotta get through! Let me go!" I had to yell to the crowd. The team double checked that the stalker girls had not been following me and let me into the changing rooms, did the hustle and made our way out.

Ach, you know what happens. Awesome music, epic blitzball playing. But the night is coming with a catch. What I didn't know was that Auron, for some bizarre reason, was standing on a bloody high building watching the attack of a monster named Sin come. As I jumped out the water sphere to try and do my special kick, I saw the city being destroyed. As strange pellets were shot at me I managed to grab onto the side of a building as the stadium was hit and began collapsing, but the aftershock was too immense and my fingers slipped. This was sure as hell going to be a _long_ night.

"Auron?" I asked, bemused. As I stood up and rubbed my head (at the same time asking myself how the fuck did I survive that fall?) I caught sight of Auron standing by the entrance of the arena.

"How's it hanging?" he yelled. Oh God, no. Mid-life crisis, thinking he can manage modern language alert. Ignoring that I preferred to ask,

"What are you doing here?" With a strange salute of his free arm he began marching forward as if part of an army drill. Facepalm. We had to run through the streets and through the crowds who were kind enough to shout "watch out you asshole!" unaware they were running towards an inevitable death.

"We call it Sin," Auron spontaneously came out with. I looked at him, my head slightly cocked to the side.

"That's the only name you could come up with for it?!" He snorted.

"Don't blame me, blame Squaresoft. Anyway, let's blow shit up!" I could go with that. Since we could not be bothered being attacked by what was called 'sinspawn' and Auron conveniently had a sword given to him, apparently by my dad, we blew up the road on which we had been standing. It was almost cinematic the next event, running in slow motion towards the edge to leap off graceful –

"Tidus hurry the fuck up!" he yelled after me. Geez Louise. My leap was slightly misjudged, the road began collapsing as I jumped and managed to grab hold of very edge of the other half of the road. Who happened to be standing on their two feet somehow? Yes, Auron!

"How the hell did you get here?" I yelled at him over the vacuum noise, I did manage to notice it looked as if the city was being sucked up into Sin's arse.

"It's called going with the extremely complex storyline," he babbled as he grabbed the neck of my collar.

"Get the fuck off me! Just help me will you?" I begged. He chuckled and said before being sucked into the hole (or in my head, arse),

"This is your story, get the fuck on with it."


	2. Chapter 2

**Final Fantasy X: The Unheard Version**

**Chapter Two**

"Urgh..." I groaned as I lifted my head. The world around me was deadly silent, the only sound of lapping water and the odd caw of a crow. I was completely disorientated; what felt like one minute ago Auron was practically strangling me by the collar telling me to get 'the fuck on' with my story and now I'm lying on concrete in cold water. I refuse to let angst get hold of me now! After a few minutes of regaining feeling in my limbs I began swimming around trying to decipher where I was. Minutes passed and all I had achieved was finding a path and walking up it, great. Something was lurking in these waters, the uneasy atmosphere and destroyed environment of broken walls and bricks lying all over the place certainly confirmed my suspicions. To ease my fear, I leaned over the edge of this broken path to peer into the water but the bloody thing had to crumble at this point, didn't it?

"Shit!" I yelled as I plummeted into the freezing cold water. Coughing and spluttering, I rose to the surface only to find some weird ass fish swimming by. If I thought those were weird ass then I was in for a surprise as to the next fish.

This monstrous... thing came swimming at me with flaps for its mouth open wide and roaring. Wait, hang on a sec, how the hell can it roar underwater?! What the hell is going on?!

Oh yeah, physics and logic doesn't exist here does it?

Anyway, of course I started swimming frantically. Pulling out my feather-light, temporarily invisible sword that only appears in battle there was a few moments in which I could take a few swipes at it. This... led to me being punched. By a fish. I was fucking punched by a fish. Maybe it was better to just leave it and get moving... it was getting freezing cold and I was getting very hungry. Apparently so was MonsterFish (it needed a name). Whilst trying to swim it started sucking in water which began pulling me in. I didn't want to die, not in some foreign world and especially not when I was the pretty boy of Blitzball! But luckily there was an opening of rocks which I could slide into but MonsterFish was too big for it so it practically took a hissy fit, roaring through and sending me wheeling in. Bitch! Could have hurt me. But I was in worse trouble. I was in a crumbling building, with no heating or food, and in the middle of no where... Something was seriously against me. In order to survive I at least needed some heat so I wouldn't freeze to death before finding some food. A little of exploring was in order. It wouldn't be easy due to half the doors being blocked by rocks but I could make it. To be honest I didn't know what to make of the place, it seemed like a church or temple though with its decorations. It was so eerie. Throughout my exploration there was a withered bouquet and flares, so a fire was possible! I ran back to the main area and set it up, finally lighting it and the warmth absorbed me. I sighed contently and fell asleep.

Bad idea.

When I regained conscience the fire was going out.

"No, no, no! Hold on a second, I'll get more wood!" I shouted. As if it was going to listen and go, "I guess I could hold on a few more minutes." Behind me was a whooshing sound and pattering of what sounded like claws. Together those quite obviously showed a very bad sign. Bringing out the sword again (which turned from invisible to visible conveniently again!) I looked around and a new monster appeared; this time it had four legs and I think fangs. FUCK! But it wasn't long until there was an explosion from behind and a few very strangely dressed people wandered in. Mind you, I can't say anything for being strangely dressed as it looks like I have mesh on my sleeve. One of them was a girl and for some strange and un-masculine reason I was quite scared that she would attack me. I think what I was most scared of was the thought of being beaten up by a girl. However, she didn't. She actually began throwing grenades at the creature to help me whilst I attacked. Girl + weapons? SCORE! Eventually we killed the monster and I turned to the strangers who exploded their way in.

"Phew, that was so close. Thanks you guys!" I said in the possible cheeriest voice I had. Some of them looked at each other and someone spoke. Only thing was I couldn't understand them. Fantastic. Now I was in a strange world, cold, hungry and they couldn't speak a word of English. ANGST! To top it off two of them grabbed me, and they dared touch my hair.

"No, do NOT touch it; don't touch the hair – OW!" I screamed. Manly screamed, I mean. One of them grabbed on it and someone else stuck a gun to my neck. Charming people really. There was more blabber between them; the girl that fought alongside me seemed to be trying to stop them from blowing a bullet up my head. She came over to me and leaned her head close to mine. I was wondering if I could get a sneaky grope in... But she whispered something and punched me in the stomach.

My fears were confirmed. I was beaten by a girl!

When I eventually came around, again, I was on a boat. The floor was just as cold as the floor of the temple but this time it was metallic and I could smell and hear water. What I could also see was feet. A lot of them, surrounding me. There was shouting and I was pulled up yet again by the hair. Don't any of them have respect for the Final Fantasy boys with gorgeous hair? Since some of them were bald then most probably not. Bollocks. The rather gorgeous girl appeared again and spoke to me.

"You can stay as long as you help," she said. I did a double take. So they could speak English here?!

"You... understand me?" I blustered. She had taken off her mask so I could see her glaring at me.

"Of course, we knew we'd end up coming across a moron like you so we needed someone who understood your language," she said ever so sarcastically. "Just because we're Al Bhed doesn't mean we can't speak English!" I raised an eyebrow.

"Al Bhed...?"

What world was I in and why wasn't this girl chasing after me?


End file.
